Saturday, January 19, 2019

Yuri the Surgical Strike

Movie released on 11 January and like one of the rare movies that I watch in theatre, I watched this one.

The trailer and Facebook and several people came up saying this movie will is like a injection of patriotism. I felt otherwise.

There are handful ways to look at this movie... First it is patriotic or hyper nationalist and bla bla. Second as if the movie is an ordinary war movie and third how a army officer takes revenge, fourth is how things have changed after Modi got his first five year term. 

Well, obviously the movie is based on true events and people, so you just can't avoid pointing out characters. Especially, in the scene where the little girl shouts the war cry at her father's funeral. We have seen that in real life, we already have these heroes amongst us. If that's hyper nationalism, let it prevail.  (Also, I didn't feel that the movie was hyper nationalist or something. Perhaps my sense of nationalism is that high already!)

Although there are two front line female leads, one supporting female lead and another lady - the most charming face on TV from my childhood as character actress, the movie doesn't portray any gaudy picturization of romance. And the they have been given enough time on screen. Yet the movie is worth a watch. So it's definitely not just another war movie. 

The army officer is pissed off due to things happening around him and wants a revenge. Plans and executes... Hehehe... This is not a ordinary Bollywood or Tollywood movie dude... Planning & execution are two big things and cannot be done without a team. The movie definitely portrays this. This is where the movie stands out from any other Bollywood movie where every thing is focused on just one main character. Although few things, are may feel exaggerated. 

And lastly, yes, the they have picturized how things have changed. Ain't we all seeing that day in day out? How you see it depends on the color of your glasses. Mine are saffron.  

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Diary Entry - 3 May 2018

It's about 2 AM of 4 May 2018. That means I haven't slept for just 21hours... My sleeplessness is not my worry but what kept me awake is...

There was this kid in the neighborhood. A little young, seemingly in bad company, had no respect for people depending on financial status... As in this is how I have "judged" him! And what I get to hear today is he is no more... A news that delivered to me very plainly. Fighting my own rounds of depression this news has put me in a state of shock. I neither knew the kid really well nor we were connected on Facebook. He was just a part of my past... I was adolescent when he was a kid who ran around the blocks. That's kind of memory I have... Or the one where we discussed about who should park the car where etc.

But something inside me moved. I don't know what, how and why... but it did.

I dare say Rest in Peace! I can see a family ripped apart, I can see a father fighting his tears all alone, I can see a house waiting for its owner - A house that was furnished to offer every possible luxury. 

His Facebook indicates that he was probably depressed, lonely maybe. Or perhaps a break up or two. But then again these are all that I see and feel. Truth could be something else out there... And I just don't know how wrong I am. Well something has moved inside...

A guy so young should have been full of life...And that life is over...

Well death is natural, I am just having difficulty accepting it!!!

(I hope nobody reads this, even if they do, they don't judge me.)

Monday, February 8, 2016

Alex Honnold, Some Jerk and me

Last week, I was wasting my time with a jerk arguing about a selfie that looked terribly risky. This person asked me so you must be against #AlexHonnold too. I counter question: what do you know about Alex? Are you as good as him? Do you lead a life like him? Do you follow diet like him? Do you have equivalent experience?

Right, he didn't reach there in a night. Alex has spent years working on his rock craft to reach where he is today. Day in day out he thinks only about climbing and not about likes and followers on Facebook. And, he hasn't lost his conscience on the way. He is still humble and open.

He started climbing when he was 11 years old. Between climbs, he runs or hikes to maintain fitness. Honnold lives out of his van, spending less than a thousand dollars per month, enabling him to follow the weather and climb all the time.

Honnold is an avid reader, with interests in classic literature, environmentalism, and economics.

Alex states he is not fearless, he has an acceptance of death at some point, “I have the same hope of survival as everybody else. I just have more of an acceptance that I will die at some point."

Please note, he understands that he may die at some point. He isn't ignorant about safety.

Think twice before dragging this living legend into the debate just to prove how "smart" you are.

(Please refer Wikipedia page to verify the authenticity of information)

Thursday, December 31, 2015

सिंहावलोकन - २०१५

आज २०१५ संपणार! नवीन वर्ष सुरु होण्यापूर्वी एकदा सिंहावलोकन करणे गरजेचे म्हणून हा खटाटोप!

जानेवारी राजगड वारी बालेकिल्ल्यावर तंबू ठोकून राहण्याचे स्वप्नपूर्ती! मग एक छोटी roadtrip ज्यात आम्ही गेलो सुधागड, सुरगड, अवचित आणि घोसाळा…
फेब्रुवारी मध्ये खूप फेऱ्या मुंबईला… ट्रेक म्हणावे तसे काही नाही: सिंहगड आणि तोरणा, परत एकदा राजगड आणि यांना जोडणारा राजगड तोरणा…
मार्च मध्ये खूप वेळा सिंहगड… आणि एक लांब वरची roadtrip बदामी, पट्टदक्कल आणि ऐहोळे.
एप्रिल मध्ये खूप उनाडक्या आणि परत खूप वेळा सिंहगड… एवेरेस्ट बेस कॅम्प वर झालेल्या भूकंपाने झेनिथ ओडिसिस पण हादरले!
मे मध्ये एक मूर्खपणा (जो मला आयुष्यभर भोवणार आहे अशी) औरंगाबाद ची roadtrip!
मग एक हिमालयन ट्रेक. हिमालयातून परतल्यावर २४ तासात सह्याद्रीच्या भेटीला कोकणदिवा ट्रेक.
जुन मध्ये विश्रामगड (कुर्डूगड) आणि अजून एक मूर्खपणा आणि दिल्लीवारी… मग रायरेश्वर वर धुक्यात हरवण्याचा अनुभव…
जुलै मध्ये संतोषगड आणि वारुगड, अंधारबन, आणि चावंड कुकडेश्वर
ऑगस्ट मध्येनाशिक ची roadtrip आणि जुन्या मित्रांची झालेली नवीन ओळख
मग एक  eye opener! आणि मंगळगड.
सप्टेंबर मध्ये पुनश्च: कळसुबाई, गोरखगड, मल्हारगड,
ऑक्टोबर मध्ये राजगड आणि रायगड
नोव्हेंबर ची सुरुवातच हरिश्चंद्रगडावर,  जीवधन नाणेघाट, मोरगिरी आणि घनगड तैलबैल चा सोलो राइड आणि ट्रेक.
डिसेम्बर मध्ये गुप्त सह्याद्री ला एक भेट आणि पुन्हा एकदा सुधागड…

हे वर्ष खूप काही शिकवून गेले, आपली माणसे आपली नसतात हे हि कळाले, परकी माणसे परकी नसतात हे हि अनुभव आले.

४ महिन्याच्या depression नी सगळी राख रांगोळी झाली आहे.
उद्या पासून नवा डाव! आयुष्य नव्यानी सुरु करायचे.
अपेक्षा काही नाहीत आता आयुष्यकडून... फक्त पाठीवर हात ठेऊन लढ म्हणा!!!

Saturday, September 26, 2015


Recently I again went through a bad patch. It left me broken and depressed like never before. I again went through a similar experience of uncontrolled anger and severe emotional turbulence. A bunch of friends helped a lot to pull me up, however I had a long way to travel back to inner peace.

As it is said "ask and you shall receive", I found answers at most unexpected place: Facebook. Here is the conversation:

The Objectivitist Observer Blog Posted:
What is the most important thing on your mind right now.

Me: Getting rid of my anger.

Angel:  Make a list of your resentments (the people you resent). Then by each one write briefly why, then next to it write how it made you feel. Usually we play a bigger part in our resentments towards others than we think we do. Look at your part. That's the only part you can control.

Me: Thanks so much. I will definitely do this. <3 God Bless You

Angel: It's revealing to look at the word itself. "Resentment" is close to "re-sentiment" -- "sentiment" meaning "feeling" and "re" meaning "again." So, resentment is literally "feeling again." This gets to the heart of resentment: recycling old negative feelings, revisiting old wrongs done to us by others.

It's as if each of the offending incidents is captured on videotape in our minds. Resentment, in effect, is mentally replaying the scene countless times each day. As we do so, real wrongs grow worse, and wrongs that are merely imagined assume a life of their own.

This mental habit extracts tremendous costs. After all, resentment does nothing to change the person we resent. Nor does it resolve conflict. Instead of freeing us from the wrongs of others, resentment allows those people to dominate our thinking -- a kind of emotional bondage.
Fortunately the Twelve Steps of AA give us practical tools to defuse resentment, such as the following:

Describe resentments in writing. We can note the person we resent, the action that offends us, and how it has affected our lives. Resentments "seem huge and powerful when they're in your head," note the authors of A Program for You, a Hazelden study guide to the Big Book of "Alcoholics Anonymous." "But once they're down on paper they no longer seem so huge or powerful. In fact, on paper a lot of resentments look downright stupid. . . . These are the very same resentments that seemed completely reasonable and justified--and powerful--while they were in people's heads."

Look at your role in the resentment. The Big Book asks us to examine the original incident that fueled our resentment and ask: Did I do anything to cause this situation or make it worse? If we're honest, the answer will often be yes.

Me: Excellent... I accept that my reactions triggered the current situation. However, finding it difficult to forgive myself for trusting someone beyond myself. Please help.

Angel: It's a great step that you are able to recognize your role in the current situation but it's imperative to recognize your role in how you got there. Often times our expectations of others are set in our minds. Desperately Wanting things to be a certain way when in reality they are not. We convince ourselves we can make OUR reality become real.

Regarding trust. We tend to convince ourselves that certain people are worthy of trust when in fact their words, actions and behavior are not indicative of one we should trust. This is where we have to look at ourselves and realize that WE knew damn good and well that person wasn't trustworthy yet we irrationally convinced ourselves we could trust them. When this occurs we become an active participant in our own grief when the false expectation actually does become our reality.

Now to forgive yourself is to recognize your role, be determined not to have false expectations again and let it go.

Me: Oh my God..  you have no idea how much you are helping me... this is going to erase almost every hurt in me. I don't know how to thank you enough. God bless you.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Diary Entry: 30 August 2015

Dear Riki,

I hope you arrived happy at Heaven.

Since you are gone, I have been enjoying too much of freedom.

Now I can sleep late in the mornings and dont have to think about walks in the morning.

I eat my pavbhaji, Patra and Khandavi, eggs and all the sweets all myself and with no annoying eyes staring at it and no one drooling over it.

Now I am more free to travel and trek as much as I like and dont have to return to anyone waiting and excited with wagging tail.

I dont have to worry about spending my money as it is only for me now.

I ride my bike as fast as I can and dont have to worry about a tail that may get scratched.

The house is now really tidy and well maintained and doesn't stink of anything. I now sleep on a soft bed in my room and dont have to roll a mattress every night in the drawing room anymore.

Things have changed, my life has changed and to a non-dog person, my life definitely looks great,,,

But the changes which are now great are the ones I would trade for just another few minutes with you. Happy Birthday my child.

Its been 344 days since you are gone and you were missed for every second of it. Now my life seems crowded but it has never been as lonely.

Missing you with all my heart.

Your mom...

Monday, March 30, 2015

Are You Married?

Are You Married?

This one must have been the most asked question in the history of mankind. Every woman of age is asked this question. And I am sure every learned and wise woman fails to understand the context of this question and the story does not end with a simple answer of this question. It goes much beyond.

A few people will march off my life with this post & a few will tell me that I should not write such stuff and go with the flow. And I am ready and will be happy with the consequences.

People with either innate or cheap interest in my life will read this. You may feel I am complaining. Perhaps, Yes I am. But then what is the origin of complaints? And why shouldn't one complain once in a while?

Scenario One:

Stranger: Are you Married?
Woman: Yes
Stranger: Ok. (I have never figured out what this means) So, what does your husband do?
(Why does he/she want to know? Sometimes it was to figure out social status / financial status)

Woman: He is works with XYZ Company.
Stranger: Ok. (Somebody please elaborate this!!!)

Sometimes, they try to find connections in that organization. (Why?)
Is it really necessary to be someone's wife? Can’t a woman exist just by herself?

The story continues and Stranger asks: Do you have children?
Woman: No
Stranger: Ohh Sorry. (For what? Cant it just be my choice not to have kids?) I hope everything is ok. (Give me a good reason why everything may not be ok) {Thinking to themselves: Ohhh so that is why she is involved in such Adventure Activities}

I usually stop answering at this point.

Scenario Two:

Stranger: Are you Married?

Woman: No

Stranger: WHY??? You should be married by this age. (What the F#$%! Do I have any say in my life!!!?)

This is against the laws of the nature. You should never deprive yourself of joys of life. (I am usually deaf after this) Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah...

Scenario Three:

Stranger: Are you Married?

Woman: I was, now I am divorced. (I try to maintain a low tone.)

The story flows according to the mindset of the stranger:

Stranger: Ohh Sorry. But you know you should move on in life & settle down again. (Somebody please help me understand: Settling Down)

Woman: Ya, I know. (Meaning: Ok, let’s not discuss further)

Stranger: Why did it happen? Who would leave a sweet girl like you? (Bitch please it was my decision & I am happy about it, and what you know about me to say I am sweet!)

Woman: To cut a long story short, both of us were too young then and couldn't handle the relationship, I went through domestic violence & emotional torture long enough to take a decision. (I prefer not to lie in any case)

Stranger: Ohh so it was you? But you know girls should have patience. Once the kids are born, things do change. (How smart you are! I thought I should not suffer through all such shit & you are telling me to bring in some fragile company)

Woman: The relationship was never on the tracks of having kids. (Why should I discuss my sex/love life with you in the first place?)

Stranger: Why? Was he gay? (How does knowledge about someone's sexual orientation help you?)  Or you have any medical problems? {Ohh So THIS is the reason why she is into adventure} (Dude I am really sick of your questions & I am not interested discussing my personal matters)

Woman: (Trying to remain calm) No, nothing like that.

The stranger continues: Should I look for a match for you?

Woman: No thanks. (Thank you for your concern)

Stranger: Come on, you should re-marry. This is against the laws of the nature. You should never deprive yourself of joys of life. (I am usually deaf after this) Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah...

The story doesn't end here....

Some strangers never ask this question but keep looking for hints or ask indirectly.

Some strangers have interest in ME however once they find out about my marital status (divorced) their behavior changes. A few have tried to treat me as if being divorced is one of the biggest sins ever committed. A few have been superstitious enough to keep away from their family functions but calling upon me when needed help.

Some prefer to remain distant, go beyond the discussions and offer to "HELP" in case I need to make myself feel happy anytime!

There are also some who have told me that only a man can manage a woman's life and being divorced is as if some important part of your body is lost.

It has been almost 10 years since the divorce. During this period, I have met innumerable people with different characteristics. Very few have remained by my side during this time. Most of the people have used me for their objectives and have managed to blame me for wrong things gone wrong.

I have realized that I will never have a permanent relationship in my life as the ones I loved have always chosen to walk away from me when I needed them the most. Perhaps I have looked for love, care & respect at wrong places all the time. Additionally, I won’t let go of my self - respect (Some also call it as ego) for being with someone nor I possess a characteristic to keep buttering someone for my interests.

The society has failed me in various ways. The level of society, I come from cannot accept a single woman. There are men who have approached me indecently and have tried to make me feel like a prostitute. And when I walked away & they failed, I was given bad names.

A single woman can never be rather she should never be friends with any man irrespective of his marital status. She cannot (rather she should never) share any happy or sad feeling with him personally as this is perceived as if the woman is seeking emotional support. She cannot (rather she should never) seek help from anybody because there won’t be any empathy in the help received. Most of the people choose not to help and a few those who help either look for favors in return or do it out of sympathy and later expect the woman to be their slave.

Last 10 years have been full of struggle, pain, heartbreak and losses of different types. And one blog post is definitely not enough to write about it. People have walked in with expectations and walked out with empty hands. And I am proud of myself to have overcome my fears and failures. 

Today, I am pretty much self sufficient, independent & I am yet to meet a compatible man. But I am definitely not going to waste my precious life over waiting for him to come and take care of me and to make me happy.

Yuri the Surgical Strike

Movie released on 11 January and like one of the rare movies that I watch in theatre, I watched this one. The trailer and Facebook and...